Well I stuck to one goal for the day and logged back in now that I am home from work. Came home and vented to my boyfriend for about 45 minutes about how stressed I am at work, with my weight, etc. He is simply amazing, he tells me he will do whatever he can to help me, I just need to let him know. A big thing is healthier eating and being more prepared when I am at work, so that the stress doesn’t lead me to binge on fast food when I’m exhausted on my lunch hour Knowing I have his support helps me feel like I’m worth making good choices on. Today was one of those days where after I ate lunch I felt terrible. Physically and emotionally. I get to the point where I think, “what’s one more drive thru?” but after I know I don’t really feel that way. The logical part of my brain knows it is a bad choice, it is against everything I am trying to achieve. I just need to try and stay more conscious of these choices and really be prepared. I also know it helps me when I start right. If I eat a healthy breakfast I’m much more likely to stick though it til lunch, then dinner. A bad breakfast, and I already think, “what the hell, I’ve already ruined the day”. I obsess about food. What to eat, when to eat it, when will I eat next, how many calories, should I eat it? Is it worth it? These thoughts are on constant rotation in my head and I really need to focus on seeing food as fuel for my body and something to be enjoyed but not as a reward or obsession.

So yeah, lots to think about but tomorrow is a new day and I’m going to approach it as such. I want to wake up with a smile, do my yoga dvd or 30 minutes of wii fit and have a healthy breakfast. I also need to plan what I will eat for lunch. I am going to be using the Lose It program on my iPhone again to track my calories and exercise habits. A weeks view might prove very insightful!

Dinner this evening was delicious and made me feel a lot better about the day as a whole; tilapia with dijon mustard, steamed broccoli sprinkled with reduced fat cheese and a small salad. Small step, but a step forward and not a big gigantic leap back. One step at a time. I love to cook, and I know when I am in control of what I’m making it is MUCH healthier than anything I could get out.

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